Category: S.H.I.T. Talk

S.H.I.T. Talk

S.H.I.T. Talk

Hi there Chocokitten123 here and welcome back to S.H.I.T. Talk. Today I am going to be interviewing Abraham Lincoln.

Chocokitten123: Hello Mr. Lincoln.

Lincoln: Hello Chocokitten123, how are you?

Chocokitten123: I am fine, and you?

Lincoln: I am doing good.

Chocokitten123: Okay First question, how do you like the 21st century?

Lincoln: I like it very much, there is a treat you have called ice cream and my favorite flavor is chocolate.

Chocokitten123: Ya, I like that one too.

Lincoln: And they have a little pad that you can play games on.

Chocokitten123: You mean a tablet?

Lincoln: Yes, that.

Chocokitten123: Ya, tablets are really fun.

Chocokitten123: Next question, what was your time like?

Lincoln: Well it wasn’t like yours, it was kinda boring and didn’t have devices like yours.

Chocokitten123: Okay?

Chocokitten123: Next question, if you can bring something from my time to yours what would it be?

Lincoln: Hmm…….. tablet!

Chocokitten123: Good choice.

Chocokitten123: Last question, what is your favorite Disney character?

Lincoln: That little alien.

Chocokitten123: You mean Stitch?

Lincoln: Yes

Chocokitten123: I like him too.

Chocokitten123: Well that’s all for now, I am Chocokitten123 and see you next time on S.H.I.T talk.

Lincoln: This is some good ice cream.

 

Shit Talk

Shit Talk

Hi there,Chocokitten123 here and welcome back to Shit Talk. Today I am going to be interviewing the Baudelaire orphans.

Chocokitten123: Hello Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire.

Violet: Hello.

Klaus: How are you?

Sunny: Ezte (translation: Hi)

Chocokitten123: Okay I am going to ask you each a couple of questions starting with Violet, OK?

All: OK

Chocokitten123: So first question, How does it feel to be safe from Count Olaf?

Violet: Oh it’s very nice, we don’t need to worry about were he’s going to be or what is he planing.

Chocokitten123: Yes, I like it how no one is coming after you and trying to steal your enormous fortune.

Chocokitten123: Okay second question, What did you like being in a normal life?

Klaus: Well we all liked different things, but the stuff we all liked was going to the library, having picnics, and cooking.

Chocokitten123: Cool, My favorite things to do is Shotgun shooting, Archery, Cooking, and Kayaking!

Klaus: OK?

Chocokitten123: Next question, What do like about Lincoln?

Sunny: Meja     (translation: Well, I really like how they make this food called Deer Jerky and how its really hard and delicious.)

Chocokitten123: Yes, Deer is really common around here and it’s good for Barbacoa.

Violet: Wait, you can understand her?

Chocokitten123: Yes, Can’t you?

Chocokitten123: Okay next question, What is you favorite TV show?

Violet: Wait? What?

Chocokitten123: You mean you never watch TV?

All: No

Chocokitten123: TV is like the most amazing thing in the whole wide world!

Violet: Uh?

Chocokitten123: Well, Um, before we finish we have a special guest!

Violet: Who? The Quagmire triplets?

Klaus: Phil the Lumbermill Worker?

Sunny: Sywde   (translation: The Sandwich guy?)

Chocokitten123: Nope, its Count Olaf!

Violet: Wait, did you say Cou….

Count Olaf: Yes, she did indeed said me.

All: Ah!

Chocokitten123: Yup, Jerry can you take the Baudelaire’s upstairs to get a some lunch, thank you.

Chocokitten123: So Mr. Olaf, Do you like trying to steal enormous fortunes like the Baudelaire’s?

Count Olaf: Of course!

Chocokitten123: Okay, but I was wondering what are you going to do with the money when you steal it?

Count Olaf: That’s Obvious, I will…. Um….Uh….Well I don’t exactly know yet.

Chocokitten123: Okay, Well that’s all for…..

Violet: Help!!

Chocokitten123: What is it?!

Klaus: Jerry is one of Count Olaf’s theater assistant and he is trying to take us away!

Chocokitten123: Security!!

Jerry: Wait?! What are you?Ah! Ow! Ah!

Chocokitten123: Yup, no one can out run our Security.

Count Olaf: Uh, ha ha….RUN!!!!

Violet: You better run away.

Klaus: Well good-bye Chocokitten123.

Sunny: Jcver    (translation: Can we have some Deer Jerky?)

Chocokitten123: Sure, Well that’s all for now see you next time on Shit Talk.

Violet: I still can’t believe you understand her!

Back to School

Back to School

Hey everyone! AwesomeEwok here and welcome back to FUNDUCATION! I got some great jokes and also some really funny comic stripes.

Joke 1:  Josie: Why was school easier for cave people?                                                                                        Kate: Why?                                                                                                                                                     Josie: Because there was no history to study!

Joke 2: David: Why did the M&M go to school?                                                                                                  Sam: Why?                                                                                                                                                      David: Because he wanted to be a Smartie!

joke 3: Gab: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?                                                                          Mikaela: Why?                                                                                                                                                Gab: Because she had bright students!

joke 4: Teacher: If you had 13 apples, 12 grapes, 3 pineapples, and 3 strawberries what would you have?                                                                                                                                                                       Gab: A delicious fruit smoothie.

joke 5: Teacher: Why did you eat your homework Sam?                                                                                    Sam: Because I don’t have a dog.

Related image  Image result for images of calvin and hobbes comic strips                     Related image Image result for images of calvin and hobbes comic strips                     Related image

S.H.I.T Talk

AwesomeEwok: Hello everyone this is AwesomeEwok interviewing Batman.

Batman: I’m Batman.

AwesomeEwok: OK, I think everyone knows that.

AwesomeEwok: So how is it being super rich and also beating bad guys

Batman: It’s amazing

AwesomeEwok: how does it feel starring in your new two movies: Batman vs Superman and The Lego Batman movie?

Batman: It’s nice that the attention is on me.

AwesomeEwok: Oh brother.

AwesomeEwok: So what do you do with your free time?

Batman: I like to play Xbox on my super MEGA flat screen TV.

AwesomeEwok: Okay what games do you play?

Batman: Lego batman, Lego batman 2, Lego batman 3 beyond Gotham, Batman forever, and The Lego movie game, but I like the parts with me in it.

AwesomeEwok: Again oh brother

AwesomeEwok: well that’s all for………

RIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGG

Batman: Sorry that’s my cell phone, yup ok bye Alfred.

Batman: got to go Batman out.

AwesomeEwok: okay well that’s all for S.H.I.T talk I’m awesomeEwok and I’ll see you next week.

 

 

 

S.H.I.T Talk

samth3man1420: Editor samth3man1420 here and welcome back to another S.H.I.T Talk. Today I will be joined by  Louis Pasteur, Pablo Picasso, and Thomas Edison.

Louis: Hello.

Pablo: How you doing?

Thomas: Good day.

samth3man1420: Now this question is for you Thomas. Where did you get the idea of the light bulb?

Thomas: I wasn’t the one who invented the light bulb. I improved the light bulb to last longer and be affordable.

samth3man1420: Wow I thought you made the light bulb. Now Louis how did you come across rabies vaccines?

Louis: After I made a vaccine to kill Anthrax I turned my attention to rabies. I took samples from a spinal cord of a dog that died of rabies. Then I injected them to a rabbit. After two weeks the rabbit died and I did the same process over and over again. Until the microbes in the samples were weakened I injected it into a dog which made the dog immune to rabies.

Thomas:   (Rolls eyes)

samth3man1420: What wrong Thomas?

Thomas: Oh nothing, just that you gave him more time to talk when my invention changed the world and he just cured some disease.

Louis: Oh ya you want a piece of me!

samth3man1420: Hold up. Both of your discovers changed the world. Now Pablo how did you come up with cubism?

Pablo: In my time artist began to reject  idea of painting a realistic copy of nature. So in my Portrait of Daniel Henry Kahnweiler I painted Daniel in a cubic form.

samth3man1420: I see.

Pablo: And I created many more forms of art, unlike some people who stay inside tinkering with nonsense light bulbs.

samth3man1420: You know Pablo Thomas’s light bulb has expanded and its being used in many different ways like this tablet.

Thomas: See my invention is better than your discovery Louis .

samth3man1420: Actually Louis’s vaccines are saving millions of lives every day and many scientists are still using his methods to find more cures. Also Pablo’s art is being admired still to this day.

Pablo: So you mean I had to be dead to get people to like my art

samth3man1420: Um I can not answer that.

Thomas: But still I am the most important person in this room.

Louis: No I am.

Pablo: What are you talking about? I am.

samth3man1420: Well that’s all for S.H.I.T talk. I better get everyone back to their time before this fight becomes a battle.

S.H.I.T. Talk with Pope Paul III

S.H.I.T. Talk with Pope Paul III

Hello and welcome back to S.H.I.T Talk, my name is samth3man1420 and I will be interviewing Pope Paul III.

Sam: Hello Pope Paul. How was your trip.
Paul: You do not greet a Pope like that.
Sam: Well how do you greet a Pope
Paul: You would say “Your Holiness,” “Most Holy Father,” or “Holy Father.”
Sam: Ok, Your Holiness, may I ask you a question?
Paul: Yes.
Sam: How is our time different from yours?

Paul: Everything is different. The houses, the government, even this contraption your using to write all of this down.

Sam: You mean my computer.

Paul: Whatever this thing is I like it. Back in my time we have a printing press and it takes longer for us to copy things from a book when it took you five minutes to type all that we have said on this contraption.

Sam: Um ok next question. How was the government back in your time different from ours?

Paul: Well one thing is for sure is that your ruler in not a Pope or King.

Sam: Actually there still a pope but he is the leader of the Catholic Church.

Paul: Wait your saying that someone has taken my place.

Sam: No one has taken your place.

Paul: Then why is there another Pope.

Sam: It’s because you died in 1549.

Paul: Oh.
Sam: Next question. Why did you go against Pope Leo X ideas?
Paul: I saw that many churches were power hungry and wasn’t committed to God and it was because of Leo’s ideas .
Sam: Very interesting…Ok last question what do you want from our time in your time?
Paul: I would like those little glass surfaces that shows images.
Sam: You mean cell phones.
Paul: Yes those things show videos of cats doing funny things and I like what you call taking selfies.

Sam: Your Holiness, thank you for agreeing to do this interview. I appreciate your time.

Paul: Yes, yes my son…I am watching a cat dressed in a shark costume riding a contraption that is called a Roomba.. (Laughing out loud)
Sam: Well that’s all for Shit Talk I have to go and take Pope Paul back to his own time before he does something with my phone.

S.H.I.T TALK

Hello and welcome to S.H.I.T Talk, my name is AwesomeEwok and I will be interviewing Darth Vader.

AwesomeEwok: Okay first question why did you choose the dark side instead of the light side?

Darth Vader: Because they have cookies, they gave me this totally cool suit, and I can blow up an entire planet.

AwesomeEwok: Okay that is some good reasons.

AwesomeEwok: Okay second question how are you liking planet Earth?

Darth Vader: Your world is different from mines but I like your souvenirs and T-shirts.

AwesomeEwok: Yeah me too.

AwesomeEwok: Okay third question how is our world different from yours?

Darth Vader: My world is more advanced than yours.

AwesomeEwok: What advances do you have that we don’t?

Darth Vader: Spaceships, astromech droids, and most of all lightsabers.

AwesomeEwok: Wow that’s a lot of advances I wished I was in your world.

AwesomeEwok: Okay last question if you would go anywhere in your galaxy where would you go.

Darth Vader: I would go to the forest moon of Endor they have cute fuzzy teddy bears called ewoks.

AwesomeEwok: That sounds like a great place to go I will start looking at going there next summer.

AwesomeEwok: And thank you Darth Vader for joining me on S.H.I.T Talk.

AwesomeEwok: Well that’s all for S.H.I.T Talk I’m AwesomeEwok signing out.